6.16.2008

God doesn't give with both hands, unless it'll screw your ass over

Recently, I've been having trouble having my cake and eating it too. I'd say life seems to have it out for me, but honestly I don't think life has that much vested interest in me. There's a whole sidelines feeling going on right now. But that's another story. We're talking about God and his damn big hands.

Recently I'd discovered why my Dexter spec sucks complete ass. Now, that probably sounds bad. But, oddly enough, it's pretty liberating. It's one thing when you're not sure if your script is working. Or if you think it kicks ass, and you couldn't be more off. But if your spec sucks complete ass, you know right where you are. No if's, and's or but's. And there's nowhere to go but up -- the wreckage is right there, just identify the problem and move on.

I'm exaggerating. But I identified the problems, and lo and behold, the missing link of my script hit me like an LA driver without a shred of insurance.

Now, I'm not sure if my thunderbolt was more of a

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key, or a

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lynchpin.


Both metaphors are apt, and distinctive. I'm think it's more lynchpin. Yeah, definitely a lynchpin.

But this is where God shoved his other hand in my face.

Life. Goddamn, stingy, in-your-face life. I'm not going to list out my problems. Because: A) I'm not going to preach to the choir. B) We all have probelms. C) The grass is always greener. AND D) You don't, nor should you, care.

(Let's ignore that A and B are essentially the same thing. I'm befuddled.)

Suffice is to say, life decided now was a good time to fill my life with all sorts of obligations, appointments, snafus, random incidents of friendship, networking opportunities, drunken and caffeinated mistakes, and a complete inability to sleep.

So, writing? Not so much. I didn't have a minute to spare or an iota of calm in which to think.

Let's recap:

LYNCHPIN + LIFE = NO CAKE, therefore:

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I need: some time, a nap, an abrupt change in direction, anything that is the complete antithesis of today. I will not be life's bitch. As Inga would say: "Momma's gotta eat."

If I can just figure out a way to eat my damn cake.

ps. I can't sit on the sidelines much longer. Too bad I'm not Hindu. Their gods have more hands.

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