No sleep for the weary, wicked, and way behind

Lately, I've been trying to make sure I get to sleep at a decent hour. I've been thinking that I think better when I get enough sleep. And I'd say that's mostly true. But it makes it rough, as with more sleep, I have less time after work. So I've been working-eating-writing-sleep. One straight shot. Not every day, but enough to where it feels like the days blur by, there's no downtime. And there's always something else I'm not doing or getting accomplished. Like buying groceries. Or interacting with people who aren't at my day job.

But last night I reverted back to my old routine. It was a shitty day, and I decided to not think about anything for a while after work. But then I got down to writing, and I wrote solidy through to the wee hours and was up late. Not 'late' by my more youthful standards. But considering that I get up at 5:45am and have to get to work by 7:30am, I think being up to 1:00~1:30am is pretty late. (I'm not actually sure where I fell asleep. It's always hard going from writing to sleep. The brain is still churning. No matter how dead I feel, how much the eyelids are like 10 lbs. bags of cement, the thoughts just won't stop, wheels keep spinning.)

So this morning I feel like crap. Tired crap. But also very satisfied at all I got done. I had forgotten that odd mix of feelings. It's nice. And crappy.

ps. Hopefully that mix of feelings and consciousness is still all good later this evening when I meet with P to go over pilot ideas.


Carolyn said...

Hi. Still enjoying your blog.

It's funny you chose this topic today. I was walking from work to the train the other night and was trying to figure out how to fit in more writing. The obvious choice is to stay up later into the night and just get it done. Always easier said than done. I remember all of those nights in college when that was not a problem. I figure I have to suck it up and deal, or stop watching Melrose reruns. That's obviously time not used well! But I feel as though doing something like that after a day of working, commuting, making dinner, eating, walking the dog....that allows me to relax and unwind. Hopefully, I can than focus on writing. That was my plan for last night, but sleep won out.

But this:

"So this morning I feel like crap. Tired crap. But also very satisfied at all I got done. I had forgotten that odd mix of feelings. It's nice. And crappy."

reminds me that it would be nice to feel satisfied the next day instead of just annoyed at the time I claim to not have. Crappy isn't fun, but might be worth it.
So thanks for the reminder.

adam _______________________ said...

Hey Carolyn. Yeah, it's a constant battle. I'm all about decompressing -- but sometimes it ends up being a major fork in the road. When I can actually use writing AS decompressing (which has proved incredibly difficult and rare), that solves all problems.

Feeling like crap doesn't help -- it just makes things harder the next day.

But satisfaction is worth its weight in a staff-job.