Christmas shopping can suck.  When you don't have money anyway.  But this helps.

I was searching Amazon for some toy balls for my son for Christmas.  And when I was looking at one of them, this came up in the suggestions by other customers area:

Of course, one must click on such a thing. This is like a chicken-or-the-egg joke. You can see the whole thing (umm) here. The best part is, of course, the comments. I mean, really, it's a goldmine. Here is a sampling:

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars , January 1, 2011
Very Disappointed.
After following instructions and learning the proper technique I assumed I was ready to give myself the exam. Unfortunately the instructions do not specify the force that is supposed to be supplied to each testicle. During my self examination I was writhing in agony.

5.0 out of 5 stars , November 21, 2011
Perfect if you don't have a big truck. 
I bought pair to hang off my Smart Car's trailer hitch. The hitch had to be custom made, of course, but it was worth it.

289 of 295 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars, January 11, 2006
testes testes....1,2,3?
Not only a wonderful teaching model, but while trying to find the tumors, I discovered, it acts as a makeshift stress ball! When I am in line at the grocery store I just whip out this handy little bugger and squeeze away....the line around me just dissapears...what an effective little doo dad!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars , November 9, 2011
Shipping weight 8 pounds!?!?! 
I bought this and soon after read the specs. 8 pounds is WAY more than the set God gave me. I will update this review as soon as they come in!

62 of 63 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars, March 30, 2011
I'm trying them out for TSA, too! 
I'm a chick, but I purchased a pair of these for my next trip. When I refuse the cancer-causing body scanner I just know they'll want to frisk me, so I figured I'd give them something extra to grab. Oh I can't wait to see the look on the face of 67-IQ agent when she snatches onto to these babies!
I can hardly wait. I'll let you know how it goes.

ps. "Shipping weight 8 pounds!?!?!"


Zelig Skykiller said...

those bastards! i still haven't received my royalty check for being their testicle model! three hours dipping my balls in hot goo and this is the thanks i get?!?!?!

adam ____________________________ said...

"I wanna dip my BALLS in it!"

ps. Thanks, now I officially can't look at my own blog until I get that post off of the first page.