1.02.2012

I fought the plane, and the plane won


My pregnant wife and I made it to midnight on New Years Eve at a friend's wedding after a week of little sleep and traveling with a toddler in a 5 hour plane flight.  That, in itself, was a motherfucking miracle.  But after that and, again, little sleep, we had another flight with our toddler back to LA.

There's a moment in everyone's life -- if not many -- when you're on a flight with some parent(s) and their toddler.  I'm not talking about the dumbass parent who can't control their kid or lets their child scream or run amok most of the flight.  I mean the poor, unfortunate parent who's trying to calm a miserable toddler who's too big to be comfortable trapped on a parents lap or in a car seat for five hours, and yet too young to understand what's going on.  And yet, every one of us had judged that parent.  It's obnoxious, it's a nuisance.

Believe me, those who judge have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.  Which I have realized since being a parent.  You know those movies where things just get worse and worse for some poor soul and by the end of their ordeal they look like death warmed over?  That was me, like John McClane, bloody and crawling through a tin can. 

I love my son like you wouldn't believe and I'd walk through fire for him, but stepping off that plane was like the a breath of fresh air on the first day of spring after a long and hellish winter with a high death count and no in-flight snack in sight. 

Sometimes LA and I don't get along, but, my god, it's a beautiful, beautiful place right now.


ps.  My brothers-in-law brought in the yule tide cheer by endlessly watching this honey badger video with flamboyant narration:




pps.  United Airlines can kiss my ass.  They make Southwest look a private jet with catered meals and free blowjobs. 

1 comment:

Zelig Skykiller said...

i tip my cap to ya, good sir. i can't imagine that's an easy task, let alone twice.

also, if SW starts giving out blowjobs i will be a frequent flyer.